Everyone warned us about the NICU life.The long days, the up's and down's. Still did not prepare us for how rough it really would be. Day 2 at 10;30pm, i was able to hold my sweet boy. i was wheeled to the NICU, sat in a recliner. Brandi was our nurse and we loved her. with all the tubes and wires she placed my tiny baby on my chest. he was warm and skinny. Felt so fragile yet i was not nervous to old him. I felt so comfortable. i was beyond exhausted. After ten minutes i dozed off, holding my boy. Dusty had work in the morning so he went home about 11. I stayed there to hold my baby for as long as they would let me. i practically slept the whole time. but about 12;30 i decided to head back to my room for a little better rest. Best night ever, being able to hold my baby for the first time. I was check out of the hospital after three days. I was sore and emotionally drained. Pumping on a 3 hour schedule to provide for my baby who was eating through a tube. My tiny tiny baby!! i had no idea what the future would hold. Oliver got the breathing tube pulled out after only 12 hours. Put on a C-pap breathing machine. we were able to visit whenever we wanted. The week after i got checked out, we moved a trailer down there so that i could spend as much time as i wanted at the hospital and had some place to go and rest and take a little break. Oliver was so little and had to many tubes hooked up to him. he had an IV going through his belly button. Leads all over his tummy. An oxygen reader on his foot. He was doing really well for his situation. Even bumped down to a high flow on the oxygen. They took the IV out of his belly button and put a pic line in his leg instead, which they took out after two weeks. i got to hold him once a day for usually an hour to hour and a half. After a couple days he was able to be held twice a day. so i would hold him in the morning and Dusty at night. Oliver had "cares" every 3 hours. At cares they would change his diaper, take his temp, the nurse would look him over and then they would hook up his feed. Day one he started at 1ml of breast milk every 3 hours. They would slowly add more as he gained weight. Every day i would show up at 11 and stay all day. Then dusty would show up about 7. We would stay until 11-12pm. This was our schedule every single day for the next 81 days. I had the same routine. After about a week, Oliver started having Apnea's. where he would forget to breathe so the nursing would have to come startle him to get him going again. That was terrifying. At one point he was having up to 6 a day. Made me nervous to be there cuz i didn't want to watch that. then at 3 weeks old Oliver got sick. he needed more oxygen, back up to a C-pap which seemed like such a set back for me. They did tests upon tests. for the first time, i was not able to hold him. :( i tried my hardest not to cry!! i ended up leaving and going out to my trailer and i just cried and cried. tests eventually showed he had pneumonia. I went back in during sift change and one of our favorite nurses Angii (she was the nurse that was on when Oliver was born) she came up to me and must have seen my face, she tried comforting me and telling me he would be alright. I just burst into tears. the first time i had cried in front of any nurses. She said he was strong and a fighter. That made me feel better, They put him on all sorts of antibiotics. It took about a week and he was finally better. back down on a high flow. After a month old, he stopped having apnea's, thank goodness cuz those were scary. Routine became normal again and i was holding my baby. i would come in for cares, hold my baby for 2 hours, then go to my trailer and pump, then back in for cares. I had the most kangaroo care (holding skin to skin) hours than anybody in the whole unit. We met so many great nurses. many of which became great friends. Danica being one of them. she made it so nice to come to the hospital every day. there were many times i stayed until 3 in the morning because i wanted to stay and talk to her. actually have hang out time and conversation, yet still be by my baby. She so kindly got me so so many diet dr peppers in MANY hospital mugs. Snapchatting me pictures of my baby during the night so that i knew he was doing alright. i will be forever grateful.
Once Oliver became 31 weeks, i was able to try and start nursing. it was a very slow process but at 33 weeks he was eating full feedings from me. then would have bottles through the night while i was gone. At 34 weeks he got moved to an open crib. yay no more isolate!! Oliver slowly gained weight everyday. At 35 weeks we hit a bit of a wall and his weight hit a stand still. He started choking on his bottles. Turning completely blue and oxygen going down to the 30's. so we tried so many different kinds of nipples. different flow options to try and help him not choke. we finally found one that worked the best. he slowly started gaining weight again. thank goodness. On day 79 they pulled off his oxygen! he did great and wasn't needing it. Gave him a bath that day and every thing. the doctor came thru and asked if i had a car seat. i was like crap, no. he said i should get one soon. So that day my parents bought me a car seat. The next morning they informed me we would be doing to car seat test and if he passed, we would be going home tomorrow!! he had to sit in his carseat all buckled in for 90 mins and have his heart and oxygen levels stay where they needed. we were offered the transition room to stay in that night. we decided to use it. Oliver failed his first carseat test, which made me nervous that he would never passed. luckily he didnt need to be put back on oxygen. They wheeled in his little bed with all the machines. It was basically a hospital room. bed bathroom and tv. dusty was able to stay the night there with me but then left for work in the morning. I stayed up until 5 in the morning. just holding him. doing his cares every 3 hours and feeding him. i was way to scared to sleep while he slept. my parents came over that morning at about 10. at 1pm oliver was due to take his carseat test again. i was so so nervous. Our nurse was hillaree that day who i love!! so that made me less nervous. We got him all buckled in and he looked adorable. My parents then took me to the mall. tried to shop to take my mind off everything. We showed up back to the hospital with about five minutes left in his test. i was terrified to come around the corner. not sure if he made it or if he had failed 30 minutes in. i walked around the corner so so slowly. i was surprised and estatic to see he was still in his carseat!!!!! Hillaree told me he did great the whole time and his levels didnt drop once!! she said pack up your things, you guys are going home now!! i was so nervous and excited at the same time. i hurried and packed up my room and all our belongings from his room. then we were out of there!! After 81 days in the NICU we were driving out of there for the last time with my baby in the back seat. it was so surreal. After a very long long journey in the NICU, we were done! (p.s. i knew there are so many spelling errors and such, but this was a long post that i did quickly)
There are so many details that i left out. and who knows, i may be adding some of those details through out my future post. but for now i think this will give people a tiny tiny glimpse at my life in the NICU.
